Please select and memorize one of the following monologues for your upcoming audition. You can also memorize a monologue of your own liking.
You don't have to be word perfect.
(Talent 18+ please scroll down)
Some people think I don’t like sharing, but that isn’t true at all. I love sharing. I mean, what’s not to love about sharing. Sometimes you have to be careful, though. Like if someone comes up to me and says, “Can I have one of your cookies?” Well, if I gave them a cookie, then I might not have any cookies left to share with other people and that would be, like, the opposite of sharing. So I have to say no. Because sharing is really important.
I don't have a mother either... she's in heaven with my baby sister... But that doesn't mean I can't talk to her, I talk to her all the time... I tell her everything and I know she hears me because... because that's what angels do. And I know she is protecting me. I don't know how, and I can't explain it. What I do know is that every time I talk to her I feel safe and I feel loved.
No, I’m sorry, Mrs. Jones, I don’t eat that. I don’t eat anything green, orange, white, or whatever that thing is. No offense Mrs. Jones I think I might be allergic. No really you can call my mom right now I am super allergic ! ( Mrs. Jones pick up the phone) Now Now Mrs. Jones no need to call my mom, I can sit next to it I just cant eat it. I only eat hot dogs. You don’t have hot dogs?
Hide and Seek
Hey, where did everybody go? I give up! I counted to a hundred, like you said. It took a really long time. Where is everybody? I said I give up! I can’t find you!
Are you behind the swing? Ugh no ? …. Ouch, ouch, help! I fell off the jungle gym and I've broken all my bones! Call 9-11! I see the light! Come out and help me! This isn’t funny any more, you guys. Come out!
Why do you watch the news every night, Dad? It’s boooooooring. It’s always the same. The news is just a bunch of guys talking. It’s JUST SO BORING! Can’t we watch the cartoon channel? Don’t you like to laugh? Here, I’ll be the news guy: “Tonight everyone is very boring in the whole world. and the weather is boring. Have a boring night. I’m boring. Good night.” That’s it! I just did the news for you. Now you don’t have to watch it! Let’s watch cartoons!
Look at the Sky
Look, Peter, the sky. What a lovely, lovely day. Aren’t the clouds beautiful? You know
what I do when it seems as if I couldn’t stand being cooped up for one more minute? I think
myself out. I think myself on a walk in the park where I used to go with Pim. You know the
most wonderful thing about thinking yourself out? You can have it anyway you like.
I wish you had a religion, Peter. Oh, I don’t mean you have to be Orthodox. I just mean some
religion. It doesn’t matter what. When I think of all that’s out there, and the goodness of the
people we know, all risking their lives for us every day, when I think of these good things, I’m
not afraid anymore.
I know it’s terrible, trying to have any faith, when people are doing such horrible things… But
I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are really good at heart.
Hello… I would like to take a moment to talk to all of you about the dangers of taking your parents to Disneyland. First off, we are all here with a big group, and who wants to be discovered by a classmate when your mom is wearing Mickey Ears, and asking your little brother how to write a text message… then of course, there is your dad’s fascination with roller coasters. This could go one of two ways, either really fun if he likes all the same rides you do… or if your dad is like mine, then you should avoid them altogether. My dad made me wait in line for the highest… the fastest, and most exciting ride at Disney… Space Mountain… the line was forever, then we climb into a car that zips off… I started to question my dad about the 4 corndogs he had wolfed down while waiting in line… then it happened… As soon as we hit the first dip in the track …(WWWWaaaaarrrffff!!!! ) my dad HURLS!!! I think it must have hit some people in the cars behind us, because for being at Disney…. I sure heard a lot of BAD language… thank god Space Mountain is in the dark so no one knew who did it. If you go… I suggest sitting in the front!
Who I Truly Am
I’m just being me. I want to be more real in my life. I’ve gotten tired of trying to fit in and be accepted by everyone else. I’ve always felt like I’m lying to myself. If people don’t accept me for me, for who I truly am, then I don’t want to be friends with those people. From now on, I will fight for who I am, I will honor my past, I will let everyone know that I am unapologetic.
I didn’t mean to make you feel insignificant. I didn’t mean to make you cry and get you upset. I love you and think the world of you and I would be nothing without you by my side. You give me the strength and the courage to do the things I do because you believe in me so much
I’m sorry babe, please forgive me…I love you! I'll do anything to win your love again... Well, maybe not everything but...wait! No, don't go! I didn't mean it like that!
You keep distracting me, Elenie. You see me playing chess and you have to keep stomping around. It’s bad enough you always seem to roam around while I’m practicing! Let alone stomp your feet like a Neanderthal. You’re so annoying.
You know, I have to practice, so why do you keep distracting me? Don't you care about me? Don't you realized how important this is to me? (Elenie starts crying) Oh my god! I'm sorry! No! Wait! Don't tell mom!!
Danny and the Deep Blue Sea
When we got married, me and Alex, that was my partner, we smoked one night.
It really knocked me out. I fell asleep like immediately. And I dreamed about
the ocean. It was real blue. And there was the sun, and it was real yellow. And I
was out there, right in the middle of the ocean, and I heard this noise. I turned
around, and whaddaya think I saw? A whale! A whale shootin straight outta the
water! A whale! Yeah! And people on the boat said, Look! The whales are
jumpin! And I can see them! Through one of those round windows. After a
while, they all stopped jumpin. It got quiet. Everybody went away. The water
smoothed out. But I kept lookin at the ocean. So deep and blue. And different. It
was different then. ‘Cause I knew it had all them whales in it.
Raised in Captivity
I went to the church near my house and told the priest that I was bad, and I
wanted to make a confession. I said, “Father, I am bad. He asked me when I last
made a confession, and I told him never. He asked me if I wanted to buy a
chance in the church raffle. The grand prize was a microwave. I told him no. I
wouldn’t be comfortable buying a raffle and supporting an organization that
refuses to recognize women as priests. I couldn’t contribute because I believe a
woman has the right to control her own body. He told me to get out and return
only after I’d rethought my positions. Apparently, the price of absolution is the
sacrifice of one’s own moral code.
My mom asked me to dance for her cancer. She saw a documentary about this
woman who did a dance and it cured her cancer so she asked me if I would do a
dance for her and my Mom is not normally like that but she was feeling really
emotional at the time and she kept breaking down all the time so I did this solo
at the year end recital for my Mom and her cancer. And I tried to make it the
best dance I had ever done. I tried to, like, feel things with my arms and my legs.
I tried to make people feel things with my arms and my legs. A lot of people
didn’t know it was about my Mom’s cancer at all. They thought it was about
whatever dances are usually about. Flowers. Or sailors, you know. Not cancer. I
didn’t make them cry. I didn’t make myself cry. I don’t even think I made my
mom cry. She told me that she liked it. But she didn’t cry. And it didn’t cure her
cancer, so. Her cancer actually got worse after that.
Brighton Beach Memoirs
I’m not going to let you hurt me. I’m not going to let you tell me that I don't love
you or that I haven't tried to give you as much as I gave Jamie… God knows I’m
not perfect because enough angry people in this house told me so tonight… but
I am not going to be a doormat for all the frustration and unhappiness that you
or Aunt Kate or anyone else wants to lay at my feet… I am sorry, that you feel
unloved and I will do everything I can to change it except apologize for it. I am
tired of apologizing. After a while it becomes your life’s work and it doesn’t
bring any money into the house…
Boy Meets World
John, how could you be in here? How could you screw up on your bike? I have
never seen you screw up on anything. I'm the screwup, remember? C'mon you
remember...Don't do this to me, John. I don't do alone real good... I know you're
in there but it's like you're not really here. You're not talking but I know you're
here. So I'm just gonna talk, you can listen. Don't blow me off, God! I never
asked you for anything before and I never wanted to come to you like this, but
don't take Turner away from me; he's not yelling at me yet. God, you're not
talking but I know you're here, so I'm gonna talk, and you can
listen. God, I don't wanna be empty inside anymore.
When I was eight years old, someone brought me to a theatre with lots of other
children. We had come to see Peter Pan. I remember odd things kept
happening. The crocodile that chases Captain Hook at one point it fell off the
stage, crushing several children in the front row, from scene to scene Wendy
seemed to get fatter and fatter until finally by the second act she was immobile
and had to be moved with a cart. Then Peter turns to the audience and he says
that Tinkerbell's going to die because not enough people believe in fairies, but
that if everybody in the audience claps real hard to show that they do believe in
fairies, then maybe Tinkerbell won't die. All the children started to clap. We
clapped very hard and very long. Suddenly the actress turned to the audience
and she said: That wasn't enough. You didn't clap hard enough. Tinkerbell's
dead. And then everyone started to cry. I don't think any of us were ever the
same after that experience.
My folks hassled me about getting a part-time job. Said I had to find out what
work is all about. As if I don’t know what work is all about. The way I figure it,
work is this thing you hate that you do between being born and dying because
this is what everybody has always done. But most people hate working, I think.
So, everybody works, okay? But why? When I ask my dad this, he gets crazy
and starts twisting the hair at his temples. He says: What kind of a world
would it be if nobody worked? I tell him I think it’ll be a better world because
if nobody did anything, it would all even out. Besides, who knows what would happen because nobody’s ever tried it? People have been work nuts since the dawn of time.
The Gingerbread Lady
I'm okay, I'm not upset anymore. I'm alright...I know my leg is shaking, but I'm
alright. They pushed the opening of the show back one night...It's opening
Tuesday instead of Monday. It's also another actor, instead of me. They fired
me three nights before the opening. If he didn't like me, why would he hire me in the
first place, heh?.... Three nights before the opening. My name was in the Sunday
Times ad. I've got eighteen relatives from Paterson, New Jersey, coming to the
opening. My Aunt Rosario sent me a Candygram, I already ate the candy.
Everybody in the cast wanted to walk out on the show, I wouldn't let them.
Even the director was crazy about me…I said to him: You're not happy, I'll do
it any way you want. Faster, slower, louder, I'll wear a dress, I'll shave my head,
I'll relieve myself on the stage in front of my own family, I'm an actor, give me a
chance to act.
Hello. What's on your mind this week? I don't feel like dragging the words out
of you this week. You pay me to listen so talk. All my patients are this way.
None of them talk. Well this one guy talks, but he talks in Yiddish a lot, and I
don't know what he's saying. How was your week? Another series of lonely,
loveless evenings. Now, we're reaching the richest part of our therapy and
already I see results. But I think you're entering a very uncharted part of your
life just now, and so you must stay with your therapy. Don't turn away. You're a
very sick person, and you musn't be without a therapist even for a day. What
do you mean your discontinuing your therapy? You're obviously afraid. You go
ahead and leave me, and you know what's going to happen to you without
therapy? You're going to become a very pathetic, very lonely person.
A Feminine Ending
I am acting as if I ‘d forgotten all about Taylor but I’m lying. I think about
him/her a lot. More than I ‘d like too. We were together almost constantly
when we were young. It took him/her years to work up the courage to kiss me.
He/she used to show up at my house in the evenings and ask me if I wanted to
go for a walk and “clear my head”. We’d go wandering around the
neighborhoods and we’d stop under every streetlamp and he/she would look
at me, mournfully. Finally, after our eighty-third stroll, I said “Taylor are you
going to kiss me or not?” And he/she said “I was thinking about it. And then
he/she did”. My parents liked Taylor.